- Mamá, mamá, en la escuela me llaman Marica
- ¿¿¡¡Y a mi que!!??
- ¿A ti?, puta
A ver Jaimito, si yo digo "fui rica" es pasado, pero si yo digo "soy hermosa", ¿qué es?
Una gran mentira maestra.
La maestra pregunta a jaimito: Jaimito.¿Si en un árbol hay cinco pajaros y de un tiro matas a uno, cuantos quedan?.
Ninguno seño, por que los demas se asustan y salen volando.
Bueno-dice la maestra- la respuesta es cuatro, pero me gusta como piensas.
Jaimito le dice a la maestra: Seño, quiero hacerle una pregunta. En un
bar hay tres mujeres comiendose un helado, una lo muerde, otra lo chupa y
otra lo lame. ¿Cual de las tres está casada?. La profesora se sonroja
avergonzada y dice: La que está chupando el helado.
No, es la que lleva el anillo, pero me gusta como piensa.
Va un tipo a confesarse y le dice al cura:
- Padre, padre, confieso que hago el amor con mi novia 20
veces a día. ¿Soy un pecador?
- No hijo, no, lo que eres es un mentiroso.
Un violador va a un convento y dice en a todas
las monjas: "poneros en fila que os voy a violar a todas"
y de repente
una monja dice: "No¡ a la madre superiora No¡ " - y se oye decir a la
madre superiora: "que te calles que ha dicho a todas¡¡¡¡"
Pepe, Pepe, lo que estamos haciendo no tiene nombre...
Ni tampoco apellido, porque mañana me voy de viaje.
Hombre invisible busca mujer transparente para hacer cosas nunca vistas
4.24.2012
4.23.2012
La Ultima Pelea (Warrior) -Trailer Oficial Subtitulado
The youngest son of an alcoholic former boxer returns home, where he's trained by his father for competition in a mixed martial arts tournament - a path that puts the fighter on a collision corner with his older brother.
Miguel Barraza - El argentino, el gago y un marica
El gran Miguel Barraza en sus inicios, aca con su famoso tango : Porque Canto Asi ? interpretado en el ya añejo programa Trampolin a la Fama.
4.22.2012
Jack The Giant Killer - Official Trailer [HD]
Release Date: 15 June 2012
Genre: Adventure | Drama | Fantasy
Cast: Nicholas Hoult, Stanley Tucci, Ewan McGregor, Bill Nighy, Eleanor Tomlinson
Directors: Bryan Singer
Writer: Darren Lemke, Christopher McQuarrie
Studio: Warner Brothers Pictures
Plot:
A modern day fairy tale in which the long-standing peace between men and giants is threatened, as a young farmer leads an expedition into the giants' kingdom in hopes of rescuing a kidnapped princess.
Genre: Adventure | Drama | Fantasy
Cast: Nicholas Hoult, Stanley Tucci, Ewan McGregor, Bill Nighy, Eleanor Tomlinson
Directors: Bryan Singer
Writer: Darren Lemke, Christopher McQuarrie
Studio: Warner Brothers Pictures
Plot:
A modern day fairy tale in which the long-standing peace between men and giants is threatened, as a young farmer leads an expedition into the giants' kingdom in hopes of rescuing a kidnapped princess.
G I Joe 2 : Retaliation - Official Trailer
Release Date: 29 June 2012
Genre: Action | Adventure | Sci-Fi
Cast: Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson, Ray Park, Bruce Willis, Jonathan Pryce
Directors: Jon M. Ch, Paul Wernick
Studio: Paramount Pictures
Plot:
The G.I. Joe team faces off against Zartan, his accomplices, and the world leaders he has under his influence.
Genre: Action | Adventure | Sci-Fi
Cast: Channing Tatum, Dwayne Johnson, Ray Park, Bruce Willis, Jonathan Pryce
Directors: Jon M. Ch, Paul Wernick
Studio: Paramount Pictures
Plot:
The G.I. Joe team faces off against Zartan, his accomplices, and the world leaders he has under his influence.
The Expendables 2 - Official Trailer
Release Date: 17 August 2012
Genre: Action | Adventure | Thriller
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Liam Hemsworth, Randy Couture, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture
Directors: Simon West
Writer: Sylvester Stallone, Dave Callaham
Studio: Lionsgate
Plot:
Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat.
Genre: Action | Adventure | Thriller
Cast: Sylvester Stallone, Liam Hemsworth, Randy Couture, Jason Statham, Bruce Willis, Arnold Schwarzenegger, Jean-Claude Van Damme, Chuck Norris, Jet Li, Dolph Lundgren, Randy Couture
Directors: Simon West
Writer: Sylvester Stallone, Dave Callaham
Studio: Lionsgate
Plot:
Mr. Church reunites the Expendables for what should be an easy paycheck, but when one of men is murdered on the job, their quest for revenge puts them deep in enemy territory and up against an unexpected threat.
Dark Shadows (2012) Official Trailer [HD]
An imprisoned vampire, Barnabas Collins, is set free and returns to his ancestral home, where his dysfunctional descendants are in need of his protection.
Director:
Tim Burton
Writers:
Seth Grahame-Smith (screenplay), John August (story), and 2 more credits »
Stars:
Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer and Eva Green
Director:
Tim Burton
Writers:
Seth Grahame-Smith (screenplay), John August (story), and 2 more credits »
Stars:
Johnny Depp, Michelle Pfeiffer and Eva Green
MarcaToons - Hola, guapo
Mourinho está harto de que los romances de futbolistas con famosas le eclipsen en las portadas, así que decide tomar medidas. ¿Qué hará el entrenador del Madrid para recuperar el protagonismo? ¿Provocará una pelea entre Piqué y Shakira para que corten? ¿Le dirá a Sara Carbonero que Casillas cree que ha engordado y así ella le abandonará? ¿O intentará superarles echándose una novia incluso más famosa?
4.17.2012
Rubia sexy bailando en bikini | Sexy blonde dancing in bikini
Vean a esta preciosa rubia bailando.
See this beauty blonde dancing.
4.15.2012
EL ESPECIAL DEL HUMOR : Pretina - Jardinoncio y sus tres mujeres
Grande JB - Jorge Benavides, Carlos Vilchez y demás
El Cartel del Humor : Claudia Abusada y Marco Aurelio
El Dr. Marco Aurelio con la modelo Claudia Abusada
God Bless America Trailer
Loveless, jobless and possibly terminally ill, Frank has had enough of the downward spiral of America. With nothing left to lose, Frank takes his gun and decides to off the stupidest, cruelest and most repellent members of society with an unusual accomplice: 16-year-old Roxy, who shares his sense of rage and disenfranchisement. From stand-up comedian and director Bobcat Goldthwait comes a scathing and hilarious attack on all that is sacred in the United States of America.
Movie Trailer : Abraham Lincoln Vampire Hunter
President Lincoln's mother is killed by a supernatural creature, which fuels his passion to crush vampires and their slave-owning helpers.
Abraham Lincoln is reinvented as a vampire-killing president in this Timur Bekmambetov-directed action picture starring Benjamin Walker, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rufus Sewell, and Dominic Cooper. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies author Seth Grahame-Smith adapts his own book for 20th Century Fox. Tim Burton produces alongside Bekmambetov and Jim Lemley.
Abraham Lincoln is reinvented as a vampire-killing president in this Timur Bekmambetov-directed action picture starring Benjamin Walker, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, Rufus Sewell, and Dominic Cooper. Pride and Prejudice and Zombies author Seth Grahame-Smith adapts his own book for 20th Century Fox. Tim Burton produces alongside Bekmambetov and Jim Lemley.
Movie Trailer : Prometheus Full Trailer
Unexpected ! The Full and Official Second Trailer of Prometheus Movie is here ! After an already brilliant preview, here's a longer, darker, and astonishing Trailer 2, focusing on the scientific team, whose discoveries lead them to disaster !
Movie Trailer : To Rome With Love
To Rome With Love Trailer HD (2012). Directed by Woody Allen, starring Penélope Cruz, Ellen Page, Woody Allen and Jesse Eisenberg
4.13.2012
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